Don't Waste Your Love On Me
by texasbelle91
Summary: The timeline for this would be season 4, the fall of the prison and instead of Beth being on the run with just Daryl; Merle and Judith are there as well. Eventual Meth. Rated T for now. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is my first Meth (Merle & Beth) story. **_

_**Anyway, this is the first chapter. I'm very nervous about it because Merle is a very intimidating character. Please let me know what you think of it and if you think I should continue it.**_

_**Also slightly AU because, well, Merle ain't dead.**_

_**-Angie**_

* * *

Chapter 1

**Beth POV**

Over the past two months, I have heard stories about him from everyone, including Daryl. The only difference was that Daryl knew why he was, the way he was and would forgive him for anything.

Merle Dixon, he seemed very intimidating and every bit the stereotypical Southern redneck so I stayed as far away from him as possible, even though I watched him from afar. There was something strangely mesmerizing about him.

But today was different, I was on a run with Daryl and Merle. Not the ideal pair to travel with but it was out of necessity.

Three days ago, The Governor and his men had attacked the prison while Daryl and Merle were out huntin' and though it wasn't a full out attack to destroy us, almost everyone that was there was hurt, except me because I was in the prison with Judith. Those who weren't injured badly were still unable to go on a quick run and other than daddy, who had been shot, I was the only one who knew what we'd need.

"Bethie!" I turned around to see Daryl runnin' towards me.

"Hey Daryl," I smiled, "Is everythin' okay?"

"Yeah," he slung his crossbow over his shoulder and an arm around my neck, "C'mon, we gotta go."

He was leanin' on me as we walked towards the building Merle was in. I didn't know why he was doin' that until I saw his eyes roll back into his head.

"Daryl?" He fell, pulling me down with him, "Daryl! Wake up!"

"Merle help! Daryl needs help!" I yelled over and over until he came.

"Damn, lil girl. You gonna draw ever' walker to us. What tha hell happened?"

"I...I don't know. He was fine and then he...he just collapsed."

"Gotta get 'im inside."

Merle picked him up and headed into the pharmacy. Once inside, he looked Daryl over and found he had a huge gash on the back of his head and deeper one on his stomach.

"Fuck. Ya daddy teach ya anythin' 'bout stitchin' anyone up?"

I shook my head, "Yeah."

"K suga. Ya gonna have to sew lil brotha up. Think ya can?"

"Yeah, I think so."

He started takin' off his prosthetic while I gathered up the stuff I'd need.

"What're doin'?" I asked.

"Tha fuck you think I'm doin'? Gonna hold Darylina down for ya, 'less ya'd rather him be jumpin' 'round," he growled.

I was too scared to form words so I just shook my head "no" and proceeded to stitch up Daryl. When I had finished, I tried to lift his side up to see if there were any cuts on his back but Merle grabbed my hand.

"Whatcha doin' there, girlie?" He growled angrily.

"I'm...I was just checkin' to see if anythin' was on his back."

"Ain't nothin' there. No need fer ya to go lookin'."

I tilted my head and glared at him, "There's no need for you to get mad," I said, "I've seen his scars." He pushed my hand away and walked out of the room angrily.

Daryl was still out so Merle and I packed the truck and he loaded Daryl into the back seat.

No words were spoken as we headed back to the prison. It was a good 4 hour drive and from the looks of it, it was gonna be silent and uncomfortable. At least when Daryl was awake, I had someone to talk to.

"How old are ya?" Merle said, startling me out of my thoughts.

"17 maybe 18 by now," I replied.

"Huh, guess lil brotha likes 'em young."

I glared at him, "Excuse me?"

"Didn't think he'd go fer lil girls."

"What are you talkin' about?"

"Ya fuckin' Darylina, ain't ya? Didn't think my lil brotha was inta jailbait."

"I'm not sleepin' with him. We're friends and I'm not a little girl."

He chuckled and smirked. That pissed me off. After a good while we heard Daryl groan in the backseat.

"Too fuckin' quiet," he said, "why don't ya sing somethin', Bethie?"

I glanced back at him, "What'd you want me to sing?"

Before the prison, it would've seemed odd that he'd ask me that but since we've been there, Daryl has become like a big brother to me. He was always checkin' up on me and Judith and would even carry me on runs. It was nice actually. It's how I would imagine Shawn being, if he were here.

"Don't care. Jus' sing somethin'."

"Darylina goin' soft," Merle murmured.

"Shut up Merle," Daryl muttered.

I looked back at Daryl, smiled and started to sing:

_"Standing at the back door She tried to make it fast One tear hit the hard wood It fell like broken glass She said sometimes love slips away And you just can't get it back Let's face it_

_For one split second She almost turned around But that would be like pouring rain drops Back into a cloud So she took another step and said I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it_

_I don't wanna' spend my life jaded Waiting to wake up one day and find That I've let all these years go by Wasted"_

_["Wasted" by Carrie Underwood.]_

* * *

_"Well damn, lil girl can sing. Cain't believe she an' lil brotha ain't fuckin'. They gotta be. Girl looks like a fuckin' angel though." Merle thought to himself._

* * *

**Beth POV-**

Halfway into the song I heard Daryl snoring so I stopped.

"Whatcha do that for, darlin'?" Merle asked with a smirk.

"Daryl was the one who wanted me to sing, I figured you'd rather I stopped since he's asleep."

"Naw, ya jus' keep on singin'," he said. So I did until we reached the prison.

"Oh my God!" I was in shock when we pulled up to the gates. "He must've come back!" I cried out.

"Damn," was all I heard from Daryl and Merle.

I was the first one out of the car and I was headed into the prison when both Merle and Daryl grabbed my arms.

Daryl looked at me and shook his head, "Get back in the car an' stay there 'til we come back."

All I could do was nod in response. I got back in the car and waited patiently for them to return. Just as I was about to get out, I saw Merle runnin' towards the car with Judith in his arms. He quickly got in and handed her to me before starting the car and leaving the prison.

"Merle, where's Daryl? Where's everyone else? What happened?" Judith was cryin' along with me but he didn't answer, "Merle!"

"Dontcha worry, darlin'. Daryl'll catch up ta us."

"Okay but where are we goin' and where's everyone else?"

"No one was in there 'cept her."

This wasn't good. Nobody would've left Judith there alone, not willingly anyway. Where had they all gone? Were they dead or alive? Were they with the Governor or on their own? My mind was reelin' with questions I was sure would remain unanswered for now.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: This chapter is kind of short but I wanted to give y'all an update. I really didn't expect there to be so many people who liked Meth and I want to give y'all what y'all want, so if you have any ideas/suggestions for the story, PM me or leave a review.**_

_**Special thanks to: **_

_**DarylDixon'sLover, Merle's Girl, MyNameIsCassie, crazstiz, BensidyLover123, Gaia-Sama, Alisha and grs for reviewing.**_

_**And of course, thank you to everyone that has read, favorited and followed my story as well.**_

* * *

Chapter 2

* * *

**Beth**-

Merle stared out the windshield as he drove. Judith and I were in the passenger seat, we were both cryin' but for different reasons.

"Damn it, shut tha kid up!" He snapped.

"I can't! She's hungry and we don't have anythin' to feed her. Maybe if you'd of stopped in that town we could've gotten her somethin'."

"Darlin', ain't no we. You're on ya own with her."

"Fine. Next town we come to, stop and we'll get out. You can leave us there."

"I ain't leavin' ya nowhere. Told baby brotha I'd look after y'all 'til he caught up with us an' that's what I'ma do."

"And when will that be? Where is he and where are we goin'?"

"He's lookin' for ya family, Officer Friendly an' ever'one else. He knows where ta meet us. 'Til we get ta anotha town, try an' get 'er quiet. Don't need no fuckin' walkers comin' after us 'cause of her."

"I could sing to her. That usually calms her down a little. Do you mind?" I asked.

Merle looked at me and Judith, "Naw darlin', go 'head an' sing if it'll shut 'er up."

I started singin':

_"Come in, come in my father dear And spend this hour with me For I have a meal And a very fine meal I fixed it up for thee, thee I fixed it up for thee._

_No, I ain't comin' in. No, I ain't comin' in To spend this hour with thee For I have to go down in the mines I'll return this night to thee, thee I'll return this night to thee._

_Then she got up her arrow and bow Her arrow and her string And she went down to the forest deep And sweetly she did sing, sing And sweetly she did sing _

_["Daughter's Lament" by Carolina Chocolate Drops]_

Judith stopped cryin' and fell asleep.

"Well fuck, ya can sing anyone ta sleep, cain't ya?" Merle chuckled.

"Huh?"

"Ya got 'er ta sleep an' ya got Daryl ta sleep before."

"Well, it's easy. They both like my singin'."

"Reckon so."

"If you don't want us here, why are you helpin' us?"

"'Cause my brotha asked me to. Said ya was his family an' we gotta look out fer family."

"But you don't feel that way, do you? Daryl's your only family. But Daryl is family to me...and Judith too. You shouldn't have left him."

"What kinda family are you an' my baby brotha?"

"He's like a big brother to me. He reminds my of my brother Shawn. You haven't heard him callin' me "lil sister"?"

"Nope."

"Well he does. And him being family means you are too, whether you like it or not."

I saw him shift uncomfortably at that but he had to know.

The rest of the drive was quiet until we came to a Wal-Mart.

"Ya know where tha stuff fer her is?"

"Yeah."

"Good. 'Cause we gotta be quick. Gonna have ta bring 'er with us. Ya know how ta use a gun?"

"Yeah, Daryl taught me."

"What else did he teach ya?"

"How to use my knife and his crossbow."

He chuckled, "C'mon."

I made my way to the baby section with Judith while Merle got food and supplies. Thankfully the baby stuff wasn't touched. I put Judith in a carrier while I stuffed diaper bags with food, diapers, clothes and anything else I thought we'd need for her. When I was done, I made my way over to the juniors department and searched for clothes that would fit me. Mine were torn and covered in blood so I decided to change.

* * *

**Merle**-

I watched 'er change shirts, made me feel like a Goddamn pedophile but fuck, she's tha best lookin' woman I've seen in a long time an' any man would be a fool or faggot not to notice 'er. She looks like a fuckin' angel an' even if lil brotha tries ta kill me, I'ma have some fun. She may be a 'lil sister' ta him but she ain't shit ta me.

* * *

**Beth**-

I could feel someone watchin' me change but I didn't say anything, any other time I would've but not now. There was no time for confrontation.

After we loaded everything into the car, I fixed Judith a bottle and got her to sleep. Merle and I were both silent until we came upon an old wood shack.

"Wait 'ere. I'ma check fer walkers. If it's clear, I'll come get ya."

I nodded without sayin' anything.

After a while, Merle returned. We made our way into the shack, carrying in what we could. Once the door was secure, he handed me a sleeping bag and a can of beans.

Throughout the night, I caught Merle watchin' me. At first I thought it was a little creepy but I have to admit I liked it. The way he'd give me a little smile when I'd catch him made me feel like he was showin' me attention, the kind I had never had before, not even from Jimmy or any of the other boys at school.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: I'm sorry it's a short chapter but hopefully I'll have another, longer chapter soon.**_

_**Thanks to grsk9mom, hideher and crazstiz for reviewing and to everyone that has read, favorited and followed.**_

* * *

Chapter 3

* * *

**Beth**-

It's been two days since we got to this shack and there have been no signs of anyone from the prison. And though Merle had promised, Daryl still hadn't made it here.

Tonight it was stormin'. The rain would've lulled me to sleep before but now it just kept me up, along with Merle's snorin'.

I knew the rain was gonna make it more difficult to find everyone but I was worried that Daryl was out there somewhere and he needed us.

"Sugar, ya better get some sleep," Merle groaned sleepily.

"Merle, are you sure Daryl can find us?"

"I done told ya. He knew we was comin' here. He'll find us. Now shut up an' go ta sleep."

I rolled over and faced the wall as I let my tears silently fall. If everyone was gone, if Daryl was gone, that meant I only had Judith and Merle.

We'd never make it.

* * *

**Merle**-

"Wake up, sugar." I shook her arm and fell backwards when she jumped up with her knife ready.

She glared at me, "What?"

"She's awake an' needs ya, lil mama."

She glared at me as she picked up Asskicker.

"I'ma go huntin'. Be back later but don't ya let no one in, ya hear?"

She mumbled somethin'.

"What, you don't know how ta speak when spoken to?"

"Yeah, when I'm spoken to. You didn't speak to me, you told me."

"Same difference, ain't it?"

"Nope. Just go on. No need to worry about us, Judy and I will be fine."

"Listen sugar, I ain't worried 'bout ya. Just keepin' ya safe fer baby brotha."

She snorted, "if you cared so much about him, why did you let him go? Why didn't you go with him and leave me and Judy there? We're not y'alls problem."

"Look 'ere lil' girl, my brotha said you was his sister and he wanted me ta keep ya safe. I didn't go with 'im 'cause he begged me not to, said he wasn't leavin' y'all there."

* * *

**Beth**-

"Stupid bastard," I whispered to myself.

"The fuckin' you jus' say?"

"Nothin'."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

He went to the door and started to leave but turned around, "Look 'ere girlie, I ain't got nothin' 'gainst ya but ya gotta quit actin' like a lil' bitch. Your family's out there somewhere an' my brotha, our brotha is gon' find 'em. Act right an' ever'thin' will be aight. Got it?"

I nodded and looked down at Judy.

"Good, don't go outside an' don't let no one in. Ya got a gun an' knife, use 'em." Then he left.

I sat there and said a silent prayer that my family was safe, that they were all together, Daryl had found them and they were all on their way here.

I closed my eyes, "I hope you're right, Merle." I said aloud.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Here's the longer Meth chapter.**_

_**I wanna give a BIG thank you to Athlete Girl for the wonderful idea/help for this chapter. I hope it turned out alright, lol.**_

_**Thank you to: crazstiz, velvetemr73, jazzyoungroberts and Athlete Girl for reviewing! **_

_**And thank you to everyone that has also read, favorited and followed.**_

_**As always, please review.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

Chapter 4

* * *

**Beth**-

I had fallen asleep and was suddenly awoken by the sounds of voices outside.

_"Yeah, I saw that ol' redneck comin' outta here."_

_"He ain't comin' back anytime soon. Let's see what he's got in there."_

I grabbed Judy and placed her in one of the bottom cabinets in the kitchen while I peered out of the hole in the wall I had seen Merle lookin' out of.

I spotted two men. Two large men who were heavily armed, "Shit." I whispered and grabbed my knife.

Where was Merle? Why wasn't he back yet?

I heard their footsteps on the porch and I froze.

I've never been up against a living person, except for Daryl when he trained me but other than that my experience was just with walkers. My mind flooded with questions. What if I couldn't fight them off? What it they hurt me? Who would be there to protect Judy? Oh my God, what if they hurt her?

I felt myself jump as they kicked in the door. I couldn't make it to the cabinet where Judy was without bein' seen so I crouched down and crawled under the small table that was in the kitchen.

"Looks like he ain't the only one stayin' here," one of them said.

I could see the other pick up one of my shirts, "He's got a girl with 'im."

"I didn't see anyone leave with 'im. Reckon they're still 'round here?"

"Has to be pretty close 'cause there's baby clothes here, too. I'll look around, you stand watch 'case he comes back."

That was when Judith started to cry. He walked into the kitchen and started opening the cabinets. When he got to hers, he bent down to open the cabinet. Thankfully he had his back to me as I crawled out from under the table.

I thought of Judy and how I needed to protect her. Sure, these men could've been good people but I didn't trust them.

I raised my knife and silently and quickly approached him the way Daryl had taught me.

Just as I was about to plunge the knife into his skull, I was grabbed from behind and the knife was knocked out of my hand.

When I was thrown to the floor I tried to reach for my knife but one of them stepped on my hand.

"Don't even think about it, Darlin'."

The man that I had snuck up on climbed on top of me while the other pinned my arms to the floor.

He pulled out his knife and ran the smooth blade down the side of my cheek, "Don't worry, princess. We won't hurt you too bad. Ain't that right, Pat?"

The other man, Pat, chuckled, "Well, not nearly as bad as Delilah will." He looked down at me, "She'll have fun with you sweetheart."

The man on top of me put his other hand around my neck and squeezed until I couldn't breathe. My eyes involuntarily closed as the pressure on my neck increased.

Though my eyes were closed, I wasn't out.

I felt Pat release my arms and stand. I heard him say, "Jesse, I'm gonna head back to camp an' let the others know what we found here. Don't rough 'er up too bad or Delilah'll have your head." Then he left.

I felt Jesse, the man that was still on top of me, move one hand down my arm and then under my shirt to grope my breast.

The hand that was on my neck released it's hold. He took his knife and cut the front of my shirt open and moved down to unbutton my pants, "Mmmm, you're a sweet lil' thing, princess. I bet you taste even better than ya look."

He moved off me and began removing my boots and pants. As he was doin' that, I slid my knife closer.

He moved up to straddle my legs and bent over, licking my neck.

He was occupied, this was just the opportunity I needed.

My eyes shot open and I plunged my knife into his neck.

I could feel his blood gush out onto my chest.

Just as I was pushing his body off mine, Judith started cryin' again. I hurriedly put on my pants and grabbed Judith out of the cabinet and I held her close to me.

I glanced over at the mans lifeless body and fought the urge to puke.

Still holding Judith, I knelt down and plunged my knife into his skull. Just to be safe. After pulling it out of his skull, I wiped it on my pants leg and put it in the sheathe.

I carried Judith into the other room and fed and changed her.

When she had calmed down and fallen asleep, I placed her on the blankets.

The front of her little outfit was covered in blood. I looked down at myself. I was covered in blood too but I couldn't do anything about it now.

I heard the telltale moans of walkers and my attention snapped towards the door. It was still open. I unsheathed my knife and walled over to close it.

Before shutting it, I looked out to see how close the walkers were but I was relieved to see Merle's knife go through the lone walkers head. He had two squirrels in his other hand.

I squealed and ran towards him, "Merle!"

"What Sugar?"

I quickly started rambling, "Merle, there were two men...One left to tell the rest of their group..."

"Whoa, slow down there, Sugar! Let's get inside an' ya can tell me why tha fuck ya covered in blood."

I nodded and followed him inside.

Not giving him the chance to start talkin', I began tellin' him what happened. "Okay, so after you left, I fell asleep for a minute and when I woke up I heard two men outside. I hid Judith and myself, they kicked in the door, started lookin' around. Judith started cryin' and one of them was about to get her so I tried to...to kill him but the other man grabbed me. They held me down, the man that grabbed me left to tell the others in their group about this place. Anyway, the man that stayed, cut my shirt open and took my pants off..."

"He fuckin' took your pants off?"

"Yeah but he didn't do anythin'. I stabbed him in the neck, that's why I'm covered in blood. His body's in the kitchen but we can't stay here Merle! The other man said he was gonna bring their group here."

He looked at me as if he were tryin' to comprehend everything I had just said. Then he walked into the kitchen.

"Merle?"

"Aight, Sugar. 'Ere's what we gonna do. I'ma get rid of the body so we won't attract walkers. Then I'ma go find this man. We ain't leavin' this place."

I nodded.

* * *

_**-Later That Evening-**_

Merle had disposed of the mans body and then left in search of the other man.

This left me and Judy alone once again.

While there was still a little daylight left, I took it upon myself to clean the squirrels Merle had brought back -just another useful skill I had learned from Daryl. While they were cookin' I loaded some of our heavier stuff into the car, leavin' just a few necessities inside the shack in a bag.

When night started to fall, I made sure we were secure and prepared in case somethin' were to happen.

I let Judith sleep in her carrier while I tried to stay awake. I fought off sleep as long as I could.

I woke up to a loud banging noise on the door as Merle opened it.

His face was cut up and he had a stream of blood from a bullet wound on his left arm.

"Oh my God! What happened?"

"Get tha kid. We gotta go."

I got Judith and the bag of stuff and hurried to the car. Merle slid into the passenger seat, "jus' go where I tell ya to an' we'll be fine."

I followed Merle's directions but after a few hours it seemed like we were just goin' in circles.

"Where are we goin', Merle?"

"Another place me an' Daryl know 'bout. Why don't ya sing for me an' none of those sappy ass songs. Sing somethin' else."

I racked my brain for a song and could only come up with a few that I could remember that might not qualify as "sappy ass songs" so I began singin':

_"If you ain't got two kids by 21, You're probably gonna die alone. Least that's what tradition told you. And it don't matter if you don't believe, Come Sunday morning, you best be there in the front row like you're supposed to._

_Same hurt in every heart. Same trailer, different park._

_Mama's hooked on Mary Kay. Brother's hooked on Mary Jane. Daddy's hooked on Mary two doors down. Mary, Mary quite contrary. We get bored, so, we get married Just like dust, we settle in this town. On this broken merry go 'round and 'round and 'round we go Where it stops nobody knows and it ain't slowin' down. This merry go 'round._

_We think the first time's good enough. So, we hold on to high school love. Sayin' we won't end up like our parents. Tiny little boxes in a row. Ain't what you want, it's what you know. Just happy in the shoes you're wearin'. Same checks we're always cashin' to buy a little more distraction._

_'Cause mama's hooked on Mary Kay. Brother's hooked on Mary Jane. Daddy's hooked on Mary two doors down. Mary, Mary, quite contrary. We get bored, so, we get married. Just like dust, we settle in this town. On this broken merry go 'round and 'round and 'round we go Where it stops nobody knows and it ain't slowin' down. This merry go 'round._

_Mary, Mary, quite contrary. We're so bored until we're buried. Just like dust, we settle in this town. On this broken merry go 'round. Merry go 'round._

_Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jack burned out on booze and pills. And Mary had a little lamb. Mary just don't give a damn no more."_

_["Merry Go 'Round" by Kacey Musgraves]_

He was quiet throughout the song so when I had finished I looked over at him and saw how pale and sweaty he was. We had to treat his wound or it'd get worse.

The sun was starting to come up when I pulled the car over and turned towards him in my seat. His eyes were closed but they popped open when I touched his shirt.

"What'd ya think your doin', girlie?"

"Lookin' at your wound. We gotta treat it before it gets worse."

He looked around, "Aight. Grab the kid an' what ya need. There's a creek not far from here."

I grabbed Judith's carrier and the bag of medical supplies and followed him to the creek.

Once we were there, I opened the bag and pulled out a bottle of water and two Oxycontin pills for him to take.

After he took them, I built a small fire and gathered some bottles of water to give the pills a chance to work.

I removed the bullet and began stitching him up. He never flinched but I knew he was in pain by the way he clenched his jaw.

When I finished he went into the creek to clean himself up while I fed Judith.

He came back and just stared at me.

"Go clean ya'self up an' change shirts for fucks sake."

I looked down and realized I was still wearing the bloodied cut up shirt.

"Sir, yes, sir." I mumbled sarcastically.

"Hey, clean the kid up first then bring 'er back ta me. I'll watch 'er while you're in there."

* * *

**Merle**-

I watched her take Asskicker down to the creek and wash her up.

After she'd brought her back to me she went back down to the creek and removed her shirt.

I chuckled when I saw somethin' that surprised the shit outta me.

There on the small of her back was a little cross.

_"Sugar ain't as sweet an' innocent as ever'one thinks," I smirked to myself._


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: So I know it kind of takes off pretty fast but I hope y'all like it. **_

_**There's more Merle in this so let me know how I did with his character.**_

_**Thank you to: Athlete Girl, velvetemr73 and beyondmythoughts for reviewing and thank you to everyone that has read, favorited and followed.**_

_**Leave me a review!**_

_**WARNING: May contain triggers for rape, abuse and drugs.**_

* * *

Chapter 5

* * *

**Beth**-

"We gonna stay here. I'll take first watch," Merle announced when I returned from the creek.

"I don't think we should stay here. It's not safe," I told him.

"Yeah it is. Safer than it would be in tha car."

I shrugged, "Fine. I'll get some more sticks for a fire."

"Don't go far," was his only reply.

* * *

**Merle**-

I looked at Asskicker then at Sugar.

I promised my brother I'd look after 'em an' I cain't even do that. I could see the bruises formin' on her arms an' neck. Them sons-a-bitches coulda killed 'er. Fuck! They coulda but they didn't, 'stead they almost raped Sugar. Guess lil' brotha taught 'er good but I ain't 'bout ta let that happen again.

I'd killed tha bastard that I'd recognized from Sugar's description but not 'fore he shot me. No doubt tha others in his group heard tha shot. Ain't no tellin' where they are. They coulda been followin' us. They could be watchin' us now.

"Sugar! Get ya ass back here now," I stood lookin' for her.

No answer.

"Sugar?"

I listened but didn't hear her.

"Damn it, Sugar. Where tha fuck ya at?" I said mostly to myself.

It hurt like hell but I grabbed up Asskicker an' started lookin' for Sugar.

I started up tha hill towards tha road when I saw her.

I sat Asskicker back down an' grabbed 'er arm, "Where tha fuck ya been?" I growled.

"You're hurtin' my arm, Merle!" She tried to pry my hand off of 'er.

"Merle, please let go. You're really hurtin' me."

She had tears in 'er eyes, so I let go.

She rubbed her arm then picked up Asskicker. I followed 'er silently to where we were gonna stay.

She sat down an' took 'er backpack off, "I went to the car. I thought we'd need somethin' to eat."

She handed me a ball of aluminum foil.

"It's squirrel meat. I cooked it when when you went after that man." She reached into the bag again, "and I got you these." She handed me two pills, "They're antibiotics. I got them after I had stitched up Daryl, I thought he'd need them. They may not be the right kind but I figured it couldn't hurt. You need somethin' to fight off an infection."

She stood up and walked away. When she came back she had an arm load of sticks.

She heated up some beans an' we ate 'til Asskicker started cryin'.

"Shh...Judy."

She fed 'er an' whatever other shit she had ta do but tha kid kept cryin'.

"Why don't ya sing, Angel? Ya know anymore songs like tha one ya sang in tha car?"

She shrugged, "I know a few."

"Go on then."

She shifted Asskicker 'fore she began.

_"Well two old red-nosed whiskey drunks were talkin politics It was time to hit the bricks, it was time for me to go And I was right there on the verge of pullin' out my hair Actin as though I could not care less and hopin' she would show_

_Well my bags are packed and ready, I was feelin' like a wreck Some clothes and personal effects, I left everything I own And the last I laid eyes on her, we were in a hotel hall Holdin hands like paper dolls, aw but here I sit alone_

_Well I'm gonna give it one more minute, give me one more round of rum Well I'm as empty as a drum, I'm as empty as a drum Could you spare a cigarette, I hate to be a bum But here's to hopin' she'll still come, I'm too old to be this dumb, well I'm too old to be this dumb_

_Well I tell you that bartender, she's a site to see Aw you'd be envious of me, least you would if she was here And the kid there in the corner has been spoilin' for a fight And it feels like that kind of night, aw but instead pour me a beer_

_Well I'm gonna give it one more minute, give me one more round of rum Well I'm as empty as a drum, I'm as empty as a drum Could you spare a cigarette, I hate to be a bum But here's to hopin' she'll still come, I'm too old to be this dumb, well I'm too old to be this dumb_

_When you darkened up the doorway, I stood up from the bar Well I said hey now here you are, damn it darlin' how are you and you kissed me Said I can't say that I'm great oh lord I hate it that I'm late Oh what a mess we got into"_

_["Empty as a Drum" by Turnpike Troubadours]_

* * *

**Beth**-

I laid my head back on a log and tried to get comfortable. Between knowin' those men had more in their group, not knowin' what happened to everyone at the prison and Merle's constant stare, I was gonna get much sleep. No matter how much I wanted and needed it.

Every time I looked in his direction, he was watchin' me and he didn't try to hid it.

Finally, I sat up and stared back.

"Why do you call me Sugar or Angel?"

He shrugged.

"Okay, well it's not like you don't know my name. If you don't wanna call me Beth, my full name is Bethany Michelle. You could call me one of those."

He grunted, "Like Sugar an' Angel."

"Okay." I leaned back against the log and stared up at the sky.

The stars were beautiful and it reminded me of the nights I'd sneak out of the house just to go to the pasture and try to count the stars. I'd give anything to be back there.

I hummed a song until I felt sleep takin' over. I pulled Judith's carrier closer to me and put my arm over it.

I felt a hand on my arm but I didn't fully wake up until I heard Merle's voice.

"C'mon, Angel. We gotta go," he whispered.

"Why?" I groaned.

"Jus' c'mon. Ya need ta..."

"Ugh," he grunted and leaned over to cover me and Judith with his body.

That's when I saw them. There were several men standin' around us.

* * *

**Merle**-

They pulled me off her an' made 'er stand up. Her eyes were wide.

They didn't say anything to her, jus' me.

"We been followin' y'all since we saw ya kill our friend. Ya wanna watch as we have your lil' girl, old man?" The bastard behind me shoved a gun against my head while one of 'em held a knife at my throat.

"Tell me somethin', how's someone like you get a fine piece of ass like her?" One of 'em asked.

Another walked up ta Sugar, "No, an old redneck like him probably beat 'er 'til he got what he wanted. Her and a baby." He grabbed her face, "Look at your old man, princess. He killed our friends, now we're gonna make him watch as we have you. Then we'll kill him and take you to Delilah. She has big plans for sweet lil' girls like you."

One of the men holdin' her started takin' her clothes off while the other pushed 'er to the ground.

I made my move but I stopped when I saw one of 'em turn a gun on Asskicker. "I wouldn't do that. Try to stop us and we'll kill your baby and her mama." He paused, "Better yet, we'll let them turn and leave them with you. You'll have to put them both down."

"Stop squirmin' you little bitch!" One yelled at Sugar then punched 'er.

Her eyes closed, "Merle!" She cried and tried to fight back.

"Here man, try this." The man with tha knife handed a syringe to the man on top of 'er.

"What tha fuck is that?" I yelled.

"Meth," he said.

They all laughed.

"It may be a goddamn apocalypse but there's still supplies and people who know how to make it."

He pushed the needle into her arm and was handed another one.

Seein' the second one go inta 'er an' hearin' 'er cry for me made me snap.

I reached up an' twisted tha arm of tha man that had a gun ta my head. He pulled the trigger but the bullet only grazed my leg.

My actions didn't stop tha men on top of 'er but the others tried to stop me.

"Aaggghhh!" One of 'em screamed, "she bit me! She bit my dick!"

I looked over in time to see her bite down on the tongue of the one on top of her. He screamed an' hit 'er. I grabbed a gun an' plunged at 'em.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter. I hope it doesn't disappoint. I struggled with how to show Beth after she was given Meth. Let me know what y'all think.**_

_****__**Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, favorited and followed.**_

_**Special thanks to: vifly, grsk9mom, jazznsmoke and Athlete Girl for reviewing.**_

* * *

Chapter 6

* * *

**Merle**-

"Merle!" She screamed again.

Two others were holdin' 'er down again while a third pushed inta her.

I left tha one I had been fightin' with an' grabbed my knife an' shoved it through 'is head.

* * *

**Beth**-

All I could think about was how much I hate the taste of blood especially someone else's. But I was not about to be a victim.

When Merle knocked the man off me, I heard everyone talkin' but I couldn't make out his voice and Judith was cryin' like crazy.

Merle stood and looked down at me. He didn't look well but I couldn't tell if he was hurt. He looked confused but I didn't know why.

"Was he shot or hurt?" I thought to myself, "I don't see any more wounds. That's when I felt it, a blinding pain in my side.

One of the men grabbed me and shoved their elbow into me so hard, I was sure it broke a bone.

Without thinkin' and despite the pain, I dug my teeth into his arm. It was all I could reach of him and I didn't have a weapon.

When he let go, I kicked him and picked up his knife. I pushed it into his eye and pulled it out and started towards the man behind me.

"Sugar?"

I held the knife, ready to shove it into him.

"Angel? Ya hear me?"

I heard Merle's voice but I didn't see him.

"Beth!" He grabbed my wrist.

That's when I saw Merle. He was the man behind me. He was the man I was ready to kill.

I dropped the knife.

"Sugar? Ya aight?" He didn't loosen his grip on my arm.

I panicked, "wh...where are they? Where'd they go?"

"Some of 'em left but I'm sure they'll be comin' back with more."

Merle picked up Judith's carrier and diaper bag and put his arm around me, pulling me away from the bodies.

* * *

**Merle**-

I got Sugar an' Asskicker ta tha car jus' in time. 'Cause Sugar passed out.

I got 'em in tha car an' went back down ta tha creek.

When I got back I slid inta tha drivers seat, Sugar was wide awake an' jumped at me.

"Merle!" She was shakin' somethin' awful, "I thought you left. Please...please don't leave me."

"I ain't leavin' ya, Sugar. We goin' somewhere safe, aight?"

She nodded an' curled up in tha passenger seat.

* * *

**Beth**-

I woke up feelin' like I had been hit by a train. I tried to focus on the road to get an idea of where we were goin'.

"Pull over!" I screamed to Merle.

He slammed on the brakes, "The fuck?" He looked at me like he was pissed off but he pulled the car over anyway.

I quickly jumped out and started throwing up. I had to sit down because my head was spinnin' so bad.

Merle came over to me and handed me a bottle of water. I noticed he was also holdin' a needle.

"Ya feelin' aight?"

I nodded and took a sip of water.

"What's that for?" I asked referring to the needle.

He knelt down beside me.

"It's fer you."

"No!" I jumped up and screamed at him, "No! I'm not takin' any of that!"

"Ya gon' be feelin' like shit then."

"I don't care. You're not puttin' that needle in my arm."

"Aight then." He got back in the car while I threw up some more.

When I was finished, I got back in the car and we started driving again.

I was wide awake the whole time. Somehow I managed to bite all my fingernails into the quick, to the point a few of them started bleeding a little. I couldn't help it though.

I noticed Merle kept lookin' at me. Maybe it was just me but he looked a little worried.

"Ya aight, Sugar?"

"Mmhmm."

We drove for a couple hours until we came to a small town. Merle stopped the car in front of a little shop.

I looked around but didn't see any signs, "Where are we?"

"We in Mansfield," he replied.

"Where?"

"Mansfield. Thought ya was close ta baby brotha."

"Yeah. So? What's that got to do with this place?"

"Grew up 'ere."

"Oh," my attention was suddenly focused on Merle's face but he showed no emotions.

He put the car in drive and turned down a little two lane road and after a few miles, onto a dirt road.

It took us about 10 minutes to get to a small trailer. It was very run down and the yard was junky.

I didn't wanna ask if this was where they were raised and Merle seemed to know that.

"We wasn't raised 'ere. We was livin' 'ere 'fore all this shit happened." He attached his knife to his prosthetic and grabbed a gun from the console, "Stay 'ere. I'ma check it out."

I didn't have a chance to respond before he was out of the car and headed to the trailer.

He came back a short time later and carried everythin' in the trailer before comin' back for me and Judith.

When I walked in, I couldn't believe what it looked like. It took everythin' I had not to say somethin' about it.

There were empty bottles and cigarette butts everywhere. I even spotted a few needles, pipes and what I assumed was a makeshift bong or somethin'.

* * *

**Merle**-

I saw 'er lookin' 'round like this place was shit. Fuck, I knew it was but didn't need 'er actin' like it.

"Go get ya'self cleaned up," I pointed 'er towards tha bathroom.

"How?"

"Turn tha faucet on."

She looked at me in surprise, "There's runnin' water?"

"Yeah, got a well. Ain't gon' be hot..."

She smiled an' headed towards tha bathroon, "it's better than nothin'."

I started pickin' up tha shit that was coverin' tha tables an' floor.

By tha time I heard Sugar turn off tha shower, Asskicker was cryin'.

"Sugar," I knocked on tha bathroom door, "Asskicker wants 'er mama."

She swung tha bathroom door open an' slammed 'er fist inta my chest.

"I ain't her mama!" She screamed an' hit me again.

She rambled on some shit 'bout bein' here was my fault an' I shoulda been tha one ta leave, not baby brotha.

"Fuck!" I groand when she kicked me in tha balls.

I grabbed 'er arm an' pulled 'er inta one of tha bedrooms an' threw 'er against tha bed.

"Shut tha fuck up, ya ungrateful lil' bitch!"

She had tears in 'er eyes when she looked back at me.

"I ain't 'bout ta hurt ya but ya stayin' ya ass in 'ere 'til ya calm tha fuck down."

I walked out an' stuck a chair under tha doorknob.

I took my prosthetic off an' picked up lil' Asskicker an' got 'er one of tha bottles Sugar had made in 'er bag. I sat down on tha couch ta feed 'er.

I could hear Sugar in tha bedroom screamin' fer me ta let 'er out an' throwin' shit. Then I heard 'er hittin' tha door.

"Fuck you, Merle!" She screamed.

Tha shit she was on was gon' have us both goin' crazy.

* * *

**Beth**-

I can't believe that asshole locked me in here!

I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands and started cryin'. I wanted out of here. Not just this room but this whole world. I wanna to go back to the farm and have everything go back to the way it was.

I finally laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling and closed my eyes though I wasn't goin' to sleep.

I must've laid there for an hour or so before I jumped up and walked over to the door.

"Merle, please let me out!" I pleaded, "Please!"

I heard him walkin' to the door.

"Ya ain't gon' try ta hit me 'gain, are ya Sugar?"

"No. Please let me out."

As soon as he opened the door, I jumped at him, completely forgetting I was wearing nothin' but a towel.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: It's been a long wait but here's another chapter.**_

_**Thank you to everyone that has read, favorited, followed and the amazing reviews. Y'all are the best!**_

_**Let me know what y'all think!**_

* * *

Chapter 7

* * *

**Beth**-

I immediately let go of Merle when I remembered I didn't have clothes on. I could feel myself blushing when I straightened the towel before looking at him.

He was just standin' there staring at me.

I walked around him and into the living room where our stuff was and grabbed my bag. Then I hurried to the bathroom and got dressed.

When I came out of the bathroom, he was holdin' Judith but quickly handed her to me.

"She wants 'er mama," he said.

I rolled my eyes and laid her on the floor to change her diaper, "I ain't her mama. So quit callin' me that."

He leaned forward and lit a cigarette, "Sugar, far as I can tell, ya is 'er mama. Ya been takin' care of 'er since she was born, ain't ya? Whole time I was at tha prison with y'all, I saw ya bein' more of a parent ta her than Officer Friendly ever was."

I didn't bother lookin' at him but I quickly changed the subject, "How long are we stayin' here?"

"Long as we have ta."

I picked Judith up and sat down on the couch, "So, me and Judith will stay in here..."

"Fuck naw. Y'all take tha bedroom."

"Okay," I stood up and grabbed her bag and headed for the bedroom but stopped, "Are you sure? I mean, it's your house. We'll be fine in here."

He just looked at me and stood up. He grabbed the rest of mine and Judith's stuff and carried it to the bedroom.

"Okay then. Looks like we have our own room," I whispered to myself and Judith.

* * *

**Merle**-

"Gonna be gettin' cold soon, we'll fix things up tamorrow," I told 'er 'fore I went back to the living room.

I sat there an' listened ta Asskicker fussin' an' Sugar tryin' ta calm 'er down. Jus' when I stretched out on tha couch, I heard 'er start singin'.

_"Sweet little girl, ever changin' Change your ways, waste me away, again You're bettin' on freedom To find what you like You're headin' for Austin Ya aint comin' back_

_When I close my eyes The same reckoning found I wanna see Austin Burnt to the ground_

_Drivin' around, drive myself crazy I feel I'm just wastin' time I pull hard for Austin broke down inside It took two hundred miles To change my mind I turned it around, I turned on a dime_

_Austin to ashes Fire in the sky Faith in believin' I've done everything but die_

_When I close my eyes The same reckoning found I wanna see Austin Burnt to the ground"_

_["Austin to Ashes" by Turnpike Troubadours]_

I's jus' 'bout asleep when Sugar came in.

"Merle, I can't sleep." She said softly.

"It's tha shit they gave ya. Give it a few days an' you'll be sleepin'."

"Seriously? A few days?" She sat down on tha edge of tha couch.

"Yep."

She put 'er head in 'er hands, "what am I supposed to do 'til then?"

"Jus' ride it out, Sugar. It'll make ya feel good a lil' 'fore ya start feelin' like shit."

"Guess I'll take first watch then," she said.

She got up an' started pickin' up tha shit that was all over tha floor an' unpackin' our stuff.

"They rape ya?"

She turned an' looked at me, "No but they almost did. They would've if hadn't of been for you."

I knew she was lyin' but I wasn't gon' call 'er on it.

* * *

**Beth**-

I quickly looked away from him.

So what if I had just lied. It was Merle askin', he didn't need to know. Had it been someone else askin' me, I probably would've broke down and cried but since it was him, I didn't.

I tried to keep myself busy but it was hard to when I could feel his eyes on me.

I knew why he was starin', I'm covered in bruises. The biggest and worse ones are where the needles went in my arm.

"I wish I had makeup," I said aloud to myself though I didn't mean to.

"I'll get ya some," Merle said, making me jump.

"What?"

"Ya said ya wanted makeup. Ya want it ta cover ya bruises, don't ya?" He sat up and looked at me.

I nodded.

"I'll get ya some. Gotta make a run an' find shit ta hold us over for a while anyways. Maybe board up tha doors an' shit."

Not really knowing what to say, I just smiled and continued with what I was doin'.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I thought of Merle gettin' makeup.

"What ya laughin' at, Sugar?"

"Nothin'."

He looked at me curiously, "Aight then."

* * *

_**-The Next Day-**_

**Beth-**

Merle had me make a list of everything we'd need so we wouldn't have to make runs.

He stared at the list for a long time with his eyebrows raised.

"Now, Sugar. I know ya need this shit but ya gon' have ta tell me 'xactly what is ya need."

"Read the list, Merle. Whatever they have left is better than nothin'. It's just tampons and if there's not any, get pads. I don't care either way, just as long as I have them."

He stared at me. And even though I felt uncomfortable askin' him to me those things, I'd need them and I didn't wanna have to make a special run just to get them.

"What?" As uncomfortable as I was, I smirked, "are you afraid to get them?"

"Naw. I ain't 'fraid ta do it."

He shook his and left after he made sure me and Judith were secured inside.

I smiled to myself. Merle Dixon gettin' tampons and makeup. Wish I had a camera and could be there to see it.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Sorry it's so short. Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, favorited and followed. :)**_

_**Let me know what y'all think!**_

* * *

Chapter 8

* * *

**Merle**-

I's fixin' up a old wood stove for us ta cook on an' heat up this place when I noticed Sugar was shiverin'.

Ain't no doubt she's goin' through withdrawals.

I keep offerin' ta give 'er more but she refuses.

"Sugar, ya look like hell."

"I'm cold," she whispered.

"This'll be fixed in a minute," I told 'er an' watched 'er cling ta Asskicker.

When I got it goin' there wasn't much wood ta put in it but there was enough ta last 'til mornin'.

Sugar an' Asskicker was both asleep on tha couch.

The fire wasn't enough ta heat up tha bedroom too so I went in an' got a blanket fer Sugar an' Asskicker.

* * *

**Beth**-

I woke up sometime during the night to find that me and Judith were covered up.

That wasn't helpin' her sleep though so I moved to where she was layin' on my chest and she went back to sleep but I couldn't.

Once my eyes adjusted to the dark, I noticed that Merle was sittin' against the couch beside us with his head leaned back and he was asleep.

I closed my eyes and I must have dozed off because when I opened them, there was a little bit of light shining through the boarded up windows and Judith was in Merle's lap.

I didn't move, I just laid there and watched how he interacted with her.

She giggled when he tickled her and she waved her arms around.

I couldn't hold back a tiny laugh when she grabbed his nose.

"Well, lookie here lil' angel, ya mama's awake."

"I'll take her," I told him and I raised up to get her.

"Naw, you jus' lay back down. Won't be long 'fore ya start feelin' worse than ya was 'fore. 'Sides, it's rainin', cain't do nothin' outside."

"Okay," I laid back down but I couldn't get comfortable.

"Why's it so cold?" I asked.

"Tryin' ta save tha lil' bit of firewood we got."

* * *

**Merle**-

I looked up at 'er an' she was shakin'.

"Merle, can you give me a little?"

"Yeah, Sugar."

I sat Asskicker down an' got tha needle an' some alcohol.

"This ain't gon' feel real good but it'll make ya feel a lil' better."

She nodded an' closed 'er eyes. Guess she didn't wanna see it an' I don't blame 'er. I sure as hell didn't wanna be givin' this shit ta 'er.

"I ain't givin' ya much, Angel. Jus' enough ta keep ya from feelin' bad."

"Thank you," she whispered an' kissed my cheek.

"I'm sorry I gotta do this to ya, Sugar."

She had tha saddest damn look in 'er eyes. If baby brotha was 'ere, he'd kill me fer doin' this ta 'er.

I picked up lil' angel an' sat next ta Sugar on tha couch.

"Why don't ya sing somethin' fer me an' lil' angel?"

"Like what?"

"Don't matter what. Jus' like ta hear ya sing."

She sat up an' pulled tha blanket 'round 'er.

_"I want to run away, don't come out lookin' 'round Too busy dealing with it on my own He's right behind me, please God I can't be found Don't cast another stone_

_Feel I can wait until the sun rise The city tells me not to go till dawn And if he wakes, that's when my heart breaks and I'm as good as gone_

_How do I lie awake now when I know I've got to be moving on? How do I lie awake now when nothing's right and nothing's wrong?_

_And in the end, will we make amends? Just like we're face-to-face, another dawn And in the night or when the moon shines will you take me on home?_

_How do I lie awake now when I know I've got to be moving on? How do I lie awake now when nothing's right and nothing's wrong?_

_How do I lie awake now when I know I've got to be moving on? How do I lie awake now when nothing's right and nothing's wrong?"_

_["Lie Awake" by Allison Krauss]_

"Damn, cain't ya mama sing, lil' angel?" She must've agreed with me an' for tha first time, Sugar smiled.

It got too damn quiet.

"That cross ya only ink?"

"What?" She shot 'er eyes up ta look at me.

"I saw it on ya back. That tha only ink ya got?"

She shook 'er head, "No, it's not."

"Yer daddy an' sister know?"

"Daddy doesn't know. Maggie and my brother Shawn were with me when I got them."

"How many ya got? Where's tha others?"

She rolled 'er eyes, "None of your business, Merle."

"I'll find out. Baby brotha know ya got 'em?"

"Yeah but he ain't gonna tell you."

* * *

**Beth**-

I took Judith from Merle and cuddled up with her.

I smiled to myself. He's not as scary as I thought.

I've never liked cold weather and with things the way they are now, it makes me hate it even more.

I let Judith play with my hair while I closed my eyes.

Things just ain't fair but thank God we're safe, for now.


End file.
